Mexico

Trying To Escape Expectations A/K/A Finding Happiness Traveling Alone

/ Gardy Loo Pismire / Leave a comment

I have been realizing that one of the issues I am facing while traveling alone is trying to be content while I am out and about discovering a new place solo. I wake up in the morning determined to take a bus here or there only to see my resolve melt when I face the logistics alone and then begin to question my life choices. It is a hard nut to crack the natural curiosity I feel vs the aloneness factor of traveling by myself.

All my life whenever I have traveled I have been with someone. A person with whom we could talk about what we had seen and done. A person with whom I can reminisce and look at pictures that were taken by and of us. I understand now that my expectations of having that person or those persons discovering places with me is impeding on my ability to be content just exploring a city by myself. Yes, I have been getting out on my own but without the joy that I feel when someone is with me. And I have to ask myself why?

I think the explanation is that deep in my gut feeling that travel is somehow incomplete or less satisfying without someone by your side. I know that is not reality. Plenty of people travel alone happily and that this made-up-in-my-head reality that does not have to be my truth. Yet, at this point it still is… and by holding on to this what should be outdated belief… I am only hurting myself. This feeling came to roost, yesterday when I felt that sense of disappointment. One of the things I love about this area is that throughout the city of Queretaro there are these beautifully painted vibrant pianos just sitting out in the streets for anyone to play. So I sat down and began to hit the keys as people gathered around to listen to me play my own music. They cheered when I was done. And I had no one there to film this little piece of my Queretaro history which led me to feel a sense of let down.

The Buddha taught that suffering often arises from unmet expectations, as they can lead to disappointment and dissatisfaction in life. By recognizing and letting go of these expectations, individuals can reduce their suffering and find greater peace. But how does one do that when they are finding themself to be a disappointing traveling partner? One that lacks the excitement and ability to stretch themselves that they naturally have when with others?

I think it has to do with looking for those smaller moments of joy like I felt yesterday watching a child chase a balloon in the park. There was no expectation of seeing a child running and laughing it was just a moment that I enjoyed as it happened. I was expecting nothing but instead found gratitude in that moment that made me chuckle and smile. Or perhaps it has to do with just being content performing for others without having a video to accompany my own memory of that event. After all, a little over one hundred years ago that was unheard of.

In contemplating this topic and all the emotions I feel around it; I have come to the realization that there is only one solution. Get out more by myself. Challenge my incorrect beliefs to that I can find more of those ah-ha moments to be grateful for or that I have to experience ah-ha moments at all. And I need to take more pictures of the things I am witnessing and experiencing on my own. Yes, my memories and photos may be of a different caliber but that doesn’t mean that they aren’t just as precious as the ones I would have with someone standing by my side. I am alone on this journey and I can accept it for what it is and find those little moments to save in my own mind or I can continue to feel as if something is missing when it’s not! I prefer the first.

P.S. Just in case I haven’t made myself clear…I do realize that I am very fortunate to be able to travel and to have my health in order to do so. I know how things can turn on a dime and I am grateful. This is a post of how I am feeling at the exact moment I wrote it. Will I feel that way tomorrow…who knows? But it is okay to feel a multitude of feelings (often conflicting ones) at the same time and this is my truth at 2 pm on Monday and that it is up to me to change any doubts or negative thoughts that I might have. It lays squarely on my own shoulders.

Mexico Turns Me Into A Socialite

/ Gardy Loo Pismire / Leave a comment

If you know me, you know I am a pretty quiet person who doesn’t really “DO” parties and the like. I tend to stay at home, live quietly, and rarely go out. To most people that sounds like a person who is a wall flower but that is not me either. As a former journalist, I can talk to anyone and make them feel at home. But just because I can talk to anyone doesn’t mean I am gregarious or comfortable being outgoing…I am not but because I can ask questions people mistake me as such. So imagine my great surprise that since I have been in Queretaro I have become a MAJOR socialite.

To be fair, Barbarita took it upon herself to ask all her friends to check in on me and to invite me to different social situations. To say that her friends have followed her request would be a horrible understatement…and I am exhausted… but having fun. And I can say that I have learned that being a socialite, while exciting, is also hard work! LOL!

This past week, on Wednesday, I went and volunteered at the distribution center. On Thursday, B invited me to go into historic Queretaro and visit the sites. Then I was invited to dinner.

Thursday B invited me to girls coffee and grocery shopping afterwards. I got home and got a text from a lovely couple who invited me to dinner that night.

Friday, I was busy with another friend and when went out on a set-up date (don’t ask!). Today, two lovely ladies came over and taught me to make my first true Mexican dish from scratch…sopas. They spent the afternoon teaching me Spanish while I attempted to teach them English and it was a great way to spend the afternoon..

Tomorrow I have a dentist appointment ($53 USA for exam, X-rays and having a cavity filled) On Tuesday and Thursday I have my Spanish lessons. Wednesday is working at the distribution center. And several other social invitations for next week await. While I can say with all honesty that this is not the “”usual” me; I will let you in on a little secret. Before I came to Mexico, I made myself a promise that I would try to say “YES” to anything asked of me and so far that is working out great. I am seeing so much and getting to know so many friendly people who are extremely kind and have taken this “gringa” under their wings. I have found that people on the whole are kind and compassionate and as a single woman housesitting throughout the world I find that I really appreciate this “socialite” role I have been thrust into thanks to Barbarita and her family. Adios Amigos!

Getting To Know You Getting To Know All About You

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In the week that I have been here I have gotten to” know ” quite a few people thanks to Barbarita and James. Everyone has been so kind and nice to me even though my Spanish is woefully Malo. But I keep trying to improve so I think they appreciate that I am willing to try. In fact, I have found in my travels that even if you know just a few words in another language and you are visiting for a short time that people appreciate the effort of showing them that you respect their culture or area enough to try to reach out. In this vein, I have decided to take Spanish lessons in an attempt to “fit in” a little more. It will be a challenge due to my age and the fact that everyone tells me that Mexican Spanish is a little different from Peruvian Spanish which is a tad different from Costa Rican Spanish; but I am excited to learn more and to be able to communicate with others.

Learning a new language is so much easier these days than say 20 years ago. This morning I watched Chicken Little in Mexican Spanish on Lingopie. I have also bought several children’s books from New 2 You (the second hand store in which I will be volunteering) in hopes that it will help me learn. It has been quite fun going back to my childhood to revisit stories that I once knew and that my parents read to me when I was a small child. It makes my insides smile.

Saturday, I attended a party to welcome me to Mexico and to thank the volunteers who work at the store. It was thrown by Barbarita and I met many people who were kind and welcoming. In fact, two of the ladies, one of whom is a great cook have offered to come over during the week to break bread and learn each other’s respective languages. Gabby (who speaks no English) and I had a good time trying to talk to one another through hand gestures and when the going got rough using a translator. She is going to make Sopas for me next week and I am so excited about it. Several other ladies offered to make dinner dates and to go walking together in the mornings. I am excited to get to know these soon to be friends.

Deciding to make the move and experience to different countries at my age has been an interesting adventure. Yet, I can say that I truly believe that the love and acceptance I will find on my travels, while unexpected, will be a gift that I will treasure for the rest of my life. I feel so lucky to have this opportunity to get to know various cultures, geographies, and people as I make my way to exciting and unexpected places. Best of all, as I learn Spanish it will open even more doors of opportunity and friendship as I learn to connect with people who value connection and mutual understanding just as I do.

Adios por ahora

The Embarrassment Of Trying To Learn A New Language At My Age

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So I have arrived in Queretaro, Mexico, and thus far I am loving it. It is different than I imagined. First of all it is in the mountains which at this time of the year are lush and green. I am quite high in the mountains, which as it turns out, gave me a headache from the resulting altitude sickness from living up so high. But the beauty of the mountains is worth the price of a few Tylenol. There is also a Dennys, Costco, Walmart and HEB store here. While these businesses makes life easy it also makes me feel as if I am living back in the USA which is what I am trying to get away from. All I can say is thank goodness for the authentic Mexican taco stands with their slabs of fire grilled meat which is hand-sliced with a knife that is big enough that Crocodile Dundee would be proud to carry one. Best of all, I discovered a new favorite way to eat tacos…topped with fresh pineapple and melted cheese. YUMMMMM!

Thus far it has been raining constantly partly due to the rainy season and also the outer band of Hurricane Eric which came ashore. My little casita outside the main house is starting to leak a bit of water through the ceiling. I discovered this after crawling into a wet bed but it is really a minor inconvenience and not a major problem. I love the neighborhood that I am in and am enjoying the hospitality of Barbarita’s family before they leave for the United States.

Prior to arriving in Mexico, I had been listening to Lingopie and taking APP Spanish lessons. And while it has helped me to be able to pick out words here and there I find that I am frustrated with myself that learning a new language is not easier for me. I know that at 64 yo just remembering to tie your shoe laces is a challenge. Yet, trying to come up with words that you have looked at a zillion times to say at the appropriate time has proved to be amazingly difficult compared to said laces. Yesterday to my great embarrassment I accidentally asked a young woman “How many buttholes do you have instead of how old are you?” Anos vs Ano really can be a major fax pas if not used and pronounced correctly. At this point my Spanish is so bad that I am afraid of creating an international incident if I open my mouth. And while I am trying so hard to learn this beautiful language I find that my 64 yo brain just does not want to cooperate.

The other day I accompanied my host/friend Barbarita to the hospital. She is an incredible Palliative Care nurse who is working on her PhD. She also started a second hand store to provide scholarships for health care professionals wanting to learn about hospice. She is such an inspiration and I can hardly wait to start working in the store. Anyway, back to the hospital…it was amazing. Here are just a few pictures. It puts most United States hospitals to shame.

So there we go. My first 48 hours in Juriquilla. I am loving it, learning from it, and am excited to have this chance to spend time in a place for more than just the typical two week vacation. And maybe, with a little luck I will not make a complete fool out of myself and contribute to the “ignorant American” stereotype that one often finds when Americans travel. At the least, I promise I will try really hard not to cause any diplomatic issues between our two countries.