Our Bodies Ourselves


As women it seems like we have spent a lifetime trying to keep men away from our bodies uninvited. From the little girl who subconsciously realizes that having a man’s hands down her pants is somehow wrong, to teens who fight the pressure to go to “second base”  if you “really love me;” females are always having to fight men who are constantly deciding what “is right for them.”

Many years ago when I was in grad school I interviewed and surveyed over 100 teenage girls in regards to how they viewed feminism. Many didn’t know what feminism was. Even more commented that it was not relevant to them and that there was no need for feminist thinking in this day and age. I was shocked and dismayed.

As a child who grew up in the last 60’s and 70’s, I remember the feminist revolution very well. I remember Phyllis Schaffly condemning women who wanted something more for themselves than a frying pan in their hand. I remember women working hard to try to achieve equal work for equal pay. I remember women waking up to their own sexuality and unique health care/reproductive needs, and realizing that they could and should take those matters into their own hands especially when “those matters” concerned their own bodies.

Lately, the political right wing is getting louder in their demands to further control women’s bodies. In this day and age where access to abortion is harder to obtain than purchasing an assault weapon, and Planned Parenthood, where so many millions of poor women receive their gynecologic health care, is under attack and  being defunded; it amazes me how few women are doing anything about it. Once again men have their hands “all over our bodies” and once again women’s needs and wants are subjugated to men in power-conservative men in power who really want to put women “back in their place” where “they belong.” Yet, what I find really disturbing is that if God did indeed give us each free will that conservatives fail to honor this principle of self governance given by God when it comes to women’s minds and bodies.

When, I wonder, will women finally realize it is ALWAYS in their best interest to control their own reproductive health, their bodies and their souls? And when will these ideas that others should control a woman’s  body for their own political and religious gain ever stop? It’s time we end these outdated practices and let women live in peace without having men’s unwanted hands all over us.

Pregnancy and Divorce


I am finding out that a “maybe-divorce” feels somewhat like ” being a little pregnant.” I feel like I just pee’d on the stick and now have 308 days that I have to wait to find out if a positive or negative sign appears. And just like pregnancy it is nerve-wracking waiting for the time to pass. Other similarities include:

  1. Both involve heart burn
  2. It becomes increasingly apparent that you have been f*****
  3. You are nervous and scared
  4. Even if you were taught about” it” in your 5th grade Sex Ed Class you still wonder … how the heck did this happen?
  5. You feel nauseous
  6. Have to buy a new clothes

I am hoping that as time passes I will receive some clarity about who and what I want to be when this year is over. What do I want to do with the 23 years I have left on earth if I live to the median age of 77? What is important to me? What can I contribute to my community that is meaningful? Where do I want to live? How do I shield my family from feeling pain? Do I want to write another book? But most of all I want to figure out what makes me totally, completely and wonderfully happy and then… just go for it 100% in. Discovery is a wonderful thing, I am embracing it this time. And just like being pregnant I suspect there will be another person delivered at the end of all of this and she will be everything I have dreamed of because she will be exactly who she is suppose to be in the right here and now!