Exchange-A 10 Minute Poem Challenge

Sometimes I wonder

What it will be like

For you to be away

Knowing that you are

Never coming back

Except for that special necktie

You wore at your father’s funeral

Which lies at the back of our old closet

Not being thought of until now

When you want something

From home

And nothing from me

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Will I miss you?

Wishing you were coming back for me

Instead of that old tie

Or will I feel free?

Without the encumbrance of your expectations

Which I never seem to be able to live up to

Anyways

Will I miss laying my head on your chest

In bed as we exchanged nighttime pleasantries

Before that last kiss when we turned away

From one another

Each heading off to our private dreamlands

Yours which features new lovers

With better everythings

Than I will ever again have

And mine in which I follow my heart

To a vast and empty wasteland

Where nothing grows ever again

Because of the poison that you have spread

All over me

Wishing I was

Younger

Thinner

Prettier

Quieter

Move Loving

Less Loving

A Better Mom

Funnier

Less Demanding

A Better Housekeeper

Instead of just accepting me

For who I am

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Someday soon I suspect

I will know the answer to these questions

And will, most likely, not like what I discover

Because I know I will miss you

Terribly

Hurtfully

Absurdly

Uncomfortably

And will have to endure

All this sadness and pain

Until I find Alice

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Who will lead me through

That oddly shaped door

Drinking the Kool-aid

In order to grow enough

To reach that handle

And turn the knob

That will bring me home to myself

To that place that I want to be

Safe and secure

Within myself and with myself

Appreciating all that I am

Which you could never do

And when I finally arrive

I will give myself a hug

Like you do

When meeting an old friend

And I will no longer

Be missing you

Because I will have found myself

Once again

I may be alone

But I’ll never again be lonely

Because now I am my own

Best Friend

Not beaten down

Not dismissed

 

But treasured for all that I have

And all that I am

Left to give to myself

And the world

All the gifts I possess

Which you returned to Macy’s

In exchange for fireworks

And a pink negligee

Size 2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Too Much

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When you really think bout it, it is amazing how we put so much trust in our love when we married when really, we had no idea what we were getting into or how it would all work out. It seems strange that we cannot do that now. We have just as many unknowns waiting for us now as we did then and yet this time we doubt our choice to love and give as freely as we once did.

Do we know too much or do we know too little?

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Four Men Give The Same Answer

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In the past week or so I have talked to four different men who all concurred that when your husband says: “I want to feel the feeling of loving you like you can do no wrong…the way I used to feel but I am ¬†unsure that I ever can again. I want to feel once again like I worship the ground you walk on…which I am is not sure that I ever can again, etc.”

IT MEANS ITS OVER. DONE. KA-PUT.

When four men tell you the same thing its a difficult thing to hear because when do four men ever agree on anything except the fact that they all want more sex. If four men agree on something as basic as this what are you suppose to do with this information? Do you take it as gospel or do you put it into the Place of Mysteries and wait for more information? Or do you, as I did, tell your husband who replied, “Well, what do you think?”

I’m not even sure where to go with that response except maybe back to college to protect myself when the inevitable happens.

So there it is…another non answer from the hubby but an agreement from four of the males species and I don’t like their answer. Maybe I will just float down DeNile and find other four men to ask….couldn’t hurt…or could it?