I am finding out that a “maybe-divorce” feels somewhat like ” being a little pregnant.” I feel like I just pee’d on the stick and now have 308 days that I have to wait to find out if a positive or negative sign appears. And just like pregnancy it is nerve-wracking waiting for the time to pass. Other similarities include:
- Both involve heart burn
- It becomes increasingly apparent that you have been f*****
- You are nervous and scared
- Even if you were taught about” it” in your 5th grade Sex Ed Class you still wonder … how the heck did this happen?
- You feel nauseous
- Have to buy a new clothes
I am hoping that as time passes I will receive some clarity about who and what I want to be when this year is over. What do I want to do with the 23 years I have left on earth if I live to the median age of 77? What is important to me? What can I contribute to my community that is meaningful? Where do I want to live? How do I shield my family from feeling pain? Do I want to write another book? But most of all I want to figure out what makes me totally, completely and wonderfully happy and then… just go for it 100% in. Discovery is a wonderful thing, I am embracing it this time. And just like being pregnant I suspect there will be another person delivered at the end of all of this and she will be everything I have dreamed of because she will be exactly who she is suppose to be in the right here and now!