Wrinkles
Paul:Mom why do you waste your time ironing my clothes?
Me: (Yes, why do I… by the time you get dressed it already looks like a truck ran over it) Because I am a mom that cares about her kids
Paul: Why don’t you just iron my clothes when they are on me?
Me: Because putting a hot iron on a child is called child abuse and I don’t want to hurt you.
Paul: So wouldn’t it be cheaper to iron all the wrinkles out of your face than to get that shot? It would take longer to get all the wrinkles but you would save a lot of money.
Sharing
The things your kids share with you in the car.
Andre: I think it would be awesome to be able to read someone’s mind.
Me: Why is that?
Andre: Because you could do all sorts of wonderful things for them like buy them the puppy they have always wanted.
Me: Andre, you are the one who wants a puppy
Andre: I’m just saying…you know there would be one time when it wouldn’t be so good to know what someone is thinking.
Me: When would that be?
Andre: When they are sitting on the toilet going to the bathroom. I mean the things that go through your mind when you are on the toilet…well they are just not things you want others to know
Me: Is that why you spend 30 minutes at a time in the bathroom?
Andre: Might be
Marbles
At Trader Joe’s this evening, just Andre and I. So he is pushing the cart and kind of flapping around as some people with autism sometimes do. After several times of me telling him to calm it down, I grabbed the cart and started flapping my arms like a damn chicken and making clucking noises..VERY, VERY LOUDLY…I must say everyone was looking at me. YEAH FOR ME!
Andre got embarrassed at which point I said to him, “So why is it you can do things and you think it isn’t embarrassing and then I flap and cluck like a chicken and you are embarrassed?” He replied, “I don’t know mom but if you promise not to peck at the floor I promise not to tell Dad you lost your marbles.”
Gardy Loo Pismire 
you botox?
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ABSO FREAKING LUTELY! I mean I will be like 62 when my daughter graduates from high school and I don’t need people asking if I am her G Grandmother!
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i think I’ll just have a facelift when I’m ready.
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