Well, as this divorce drags on my Fibromyalgia grows more painful too. I guess this is a direct manifestation of stress.
Recently B stated he would be coming to CA with our 18 yo son Paul. He wanted to see Gracie and take her with him. Problem: he refused to sign a short two paragraph document stating that we both had joint physical custody and she lived with me. That she would be with him from x to x and that he was not allowed to leave the state with her without my permission. He refused to sign. Our eldest daughter and friends who know B said do not allow him to take her. He will take her back to Texas and if she is back there getting her home will be difficult if not impossible. We all believed he might not bring her home because he stated he was going for full custody of her and that she left the state without a good discussion.
He bought the tickets last week. He still wouldn’t sign and I had no idea what I was going to do. After thinking about it I realized that he had left no time for Paul and I to see each other except during the time we would exchange Gracie. This was unacceptable since both Paul and I had told him many times that we wanted to spend extra time together. I called Paul. He told me that his father had told him he would have to spend time with me another time. I asked him if he wanted to spend more time here after his father’s visit ended and he said yes and immediately sent me a message that read:
Hi mom! I would like to spend 10 days with you. That would mean alot to me!!
I told him we would take the trip when things calm down. You and Gracie are welcome to come here and visit, I will pay forGracie’s flight. Give it a thought, it might be a better solution.
So yeah, you already bought tickets won’t come and then offer to have us visit you….that makes sense.
- 1. B refused to sign the temporary custody visitation agreement regarding his trip to California.
- 2.B bought tickets for himself and our son Paul July 8, 2020 knowing that the COVID situation was getting worse but is still taking the boys out to dinner and in public in San Antonio which has a high rate of COVID infection. I have pictures of these outings.
- 3. A week later on July 15, 2020 when B realized that I offered to let Paul stay out with myself and Gracie for an extra 10 days he canceled the trip to California without informing Paul. He was away in Oklahoma at that time and has no problem traveling.
- 4. The next day B sent an email stating he would pay for Gracie to come to Texas instead and I could go too. This makes no sense as:
- A) B had already bought tickets for himself and Paul to come to California and told Paul he was not concerned about COVID
- B) If Bis really concerned about COVID why would he ask Gracie to come to Texas which is another COVID hot spot. Why should she travel when he already had tickets purchased for himself and Paul?
- C) The real issue is that Mr. Dieter wants to deny Paul and I access to one another and is afraid to have him stay in my home for 10 days in case he chose not to come home to him or COVID shut things down. Paul is not enrolled in college at this moment and is doing nothing that should prevent his traveling to see his family in California.
- D) Paul is an adult. He should be able to make his own decisions without having to worry that his father will be mad at him for choosing to come and see his sister and I. This was one of Paul’s concerns that he expressed to me.
Sounds like Paul might need to decide if a relationship with his dad is worth it if he has to be afraid that he’ll get mad at him for making certain decisions. It’s a tough choice but sometimes you have to let people go and let them be mad.
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You’re missed. I miss you. I hope you’re ok.
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Thank you so much for the lovely words. I am doing okay, I keep debating whether to continue this blog or start another that is not so morse. How are you doing? I hope that you are well!!!
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Did you start another blog? I am so curious where things are at with you!
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