I’ve been past the depths of hell
These last 18 months
Changing myself
And trying to make you happy
You have happily filleted my heart
Scraping out my innards
As you lifted my soul out of my middle-aged body
And held it up for the world to see
I’ve been past the depths of hell
Down further than one
Ought to go without proper diving gear
I’ve been awash on a sea of tears
That could have floated an ocean liner
Tears of sorrow, frustration, and anger
A body dragged across the sandy floor
Leaving raw, mangled meat
Hanging on the bone
The shark circling in for the kill
I’ve been past the depths of hell
Losing myself while trying to please you
Carrying your burdens first
While dragging mine behind
Sleepless nights
Etching my face with fine lines
I look like I’ve aged 18 years
Instead of 18 months
I’ve been past the depths of hell
I mourn what was
I mourn what is to come
I mourn for our innocent children
I mourn for our marriage
Which was only an illusion
Like you-illusionist
Like me-the mind reader
You settling for something
You knew you didn’t want
Along time ago
But didn’t have the guts to say what
You needed or wanted
Until the resentments rose up
And rolled the ship under
I’ve been past the depths of hell
And I’ve going down for another dive
But this time when I surface
I will be all alone
And divorce will bear my name
Holding onto my tattered mind
And a body that spent
Thirty years
Loving you
Oh,no. I am so so so sad and angry for you!!!
Such intimate words, powerful and literally aching with heartbreak. I’ve come to respect you very much over the past year, reading how the things you tried have and haven’t made a difference. Regardless, you were the mature adult. Certainly more than I am at times.
(Hugs) I hope you don’t stop posting or at least doing updates. You and your family are in my prayers.
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Oh those are sweet words. Thank you so very much. I have cut down on blogging because it bothered B that I would share “family secrets” Not sure what I am going to do but I will continue to blog here and there for sure.
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Oh those are sweet words. Thank you so very much. I have cut down on blogging because it bothered B that I would share “family secrets” Not sure what I am going to do but I will continue to blog here and there for sure.
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