Today we walked the cliffs
I saw Stan the Great Blue Herron
The Spout of a Whale
Wildflowers growing everywhere
A double rainbow
Five Wet Horses
100 Sheep and One Goat
My Kids Playing On The Waters Edge
We Held Hands Like A Old Married Couple
We kissed passionately
Both felt good
We went to dinner
I felt content
We played family games
I had a glass of wine
And I felt incredibly blessed and grateful…
So how come I still question
If this is real
This new “you and I”
And wonder if this relationship
Is really true
That what I think we have
Is what we really have
Or only what I wish it to be
Will I ever trust?
That we are together forever again?
How does one learn to do that?
Is it time?
A vacation together?
Just enjoying one another’s company?
Or is it a monthly visit to the doctor
For a prescription of xanax?
When do you know it is real again?
Or do you never really know?
So you just sit quietly
Huddled within your own mind
Unable to tell truth from fiction
Anymore….never knowing for sure…
If this what I have to look forward to
For the rest of my life?
This uncertainty at its finest?
It feels good
But how will I ever know
If I can come out from behind
The firing lines
Safe and secure
That my body will not be riddled
With bullet holes made up of delusions
Of what I think is true
Instead of what really is
Will I ever feel safe in this relationship again?
Or will I always wonder
If I should just jump down the rabbit hole
2 thoughts on “Rabbit Holes”
Kevlar vests aren’t very stylish, but at least they’re light weight….. protect your heart. The devil in blue jeans could be at the bottom of that rabbit hole.
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the thing about over analysing stuff
Relax, love, it sounds like you are loved in return.