Away Time-Leaving The Affair Behind

Things really could not be much crazier at home. This week, when asked, B told me that if he found out he had cancer he would:

  1. Spend time with the kids and me
  2. Spend time with his siblings
  3. Go to Vietnam to see affair woman

I told him that is good to know and that I have a suggestion… why doesn’t he go now?Make himself happy. Stop the madness. Make all of his crazy…I’ve slept with this woman once and know her so well… dreams come true.

“I can’t go”

“Why not?”

“I have you and the kids. A job. Responsibilities.”

“Who cares. Just go. Be happy. Here is the deal…you take 25% of our assets plus we set aside a travel fund for the kids to be able to come see you. You can live like a king in Vietnam for the rest of your life. I get the rest of the assets to put the kids  through college, pay healthcare, and support them the rest of their lives. We both end up happy and you can be with (as he has called her) his ONE TRUE LOVE.”

“Really? You would do that?”-I haven’t seen him this excited in months. I thought he might wet his pants.

Next Day:

When asked when he would be leaving.

“It isn’t practical. I want to be with you.”

Geez…what loving and practical words. Makes a woman just melt. Yes, please whisper those sweet nothings in my ear again. Of course this is only the 100th time I have heard that he wants us to be together, he wants our family together, he loves me and he wants to be with me since I discovered the affair wasn’t over in April.

I also have to wonder if he might be a tiny bit afraid that she doesn’t LOVE him as much as he thinks and may be a tad concerned that she likes him for his money (and mine) which he sent to her to the tune of wayyyyy over $30,000. Yes, more than we have put away for our kids college funds.

Anyway, needless to say, I am weary and tired of this crap/limbo/chaos so for the last two days I have done something I have never done before. I have spent an outrageous amount of money on myself. As I type, I am sitting in my hotel room at the Ritz Carlton in Lake Tahoe. Before you get too jealous…don’t! This hotel has sucked.

  1. I arrive and my room is not ready for over an hour
  2. Instead of just taking my bag to my room they ask if I would like any help getting my bag to the room
  3. I arrive only to find out there are no snacks that you can buy in the entire hotel except one box of CLIFF bars at one of the shops. I had not eaten all day…I am in a luxury hotel and there is nothing to eat except restaurant food at $28 for a quesadilla. REALLY NO FUCKING SNACKS… and the nearest town is 5 miles away.
  4. The coffee shop that I later found out does have a few snacks… closes at 11 a.m.
  5. I can’t get a Malibu cocktail because “our restaurant is high end and we don’t have that in here.”
  6. The bar closes at 9 p.m. I guess light night toddies are frowned upon
  7. I bought a Noosa yogurt that I can purchase in the grocery store for $2.29 and the coffee shop charged me $12 FKING DOLLARS. I didn’t know that was the price until it was already charged to my room because you can bet your life I never would have bought the FKING THING.

I could go on. And while I realize this is petty in the scheme of things and I sound like a spoiled bitch..  please remember for a mom with two special needs kids and a husband who is going off the deep end; I didn’t need ANY MORE stress in my life and the Ritz added to it instead of taking it away. The way I see it is for the money I am spending… it turns out I would have much preferred staying at a Holiday Inn Express where I would knowingly been expected to haul my own bag to my room and there is a small readily available stash of snacks for purchase in the lobby.

On the plus side…the two massages I have had were wonderful as was the sauna. I will say the spa was very nice and relaxing UNTIL I found out that the spa automatically tacks on a gratuity for the spa attendants of 23%. Frankly, I like to determine my own tips thank you very much. And I owe big thanks you’s to Kristen, Kathleen and Michael for their great service.

Okay but enough of this bitching. I know I am fortunate and I should not complain esp. when I have two days alone without the chaos of home life. I am sorry. Please forgive me. I am dreading check out as i suspect  that when get the bill my mood will darken considerably and all that lost stress will return with a vengeance. But until then, I leave you with some pictures of the area…I will send you a bill for them later. For if you are staying the Ritz you might as well treat everyone else like they are too. And so dear Reader this is for you.

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6 thoughts on “Away Time-Leaving The Affair Behind

  1. Sorry. I’m getting confused. I thought he left. I thought you had developed strong boundaries…. Why is he back? What do you want? What do you seriously have to work with when his reason for staying is it’s practical? This man you loved fiercely and changed your habits for because he was a timid forest creature and wanted you to not yell and be happy… and you worked at all that… and still it’s all lies. And he’s been hiding shit all along. And now he wants to flutter off to that money grubber… gets excited about it… and doesn’t realize the slap it is he doesn’t say ‘don’t be silly I want you’ … fucking turd. Ugh. This man is dumb.

    You should order whatever you want. Enjoy Tahoe. Fuck the cost. It’s all going to be cheaper than the money the asshole spent on other things.

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    • Your comment is true. He bought a house and is painting and new carpet/floors will be put in next week and he will be moving there soon according to him

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      • Unfortunately, as of this second…I have no clue. Just want peace and love. Just want to feel the happiness I used to. Just want to find out who I am now. Just want to believe in myself again. Just want to be true to myself. To create a life, the remainder of which I can be proud of. Just don’t want to feel like a failure anymore whether it be in regards to my marriage or my children. I am too tired to know what I want or how to make it happen. I just want acceptance of who I am by myself and to know it really doesn’t matter if anyone else likes it or not.

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      • I think you need some space from him continually telling you his plans. His plans don’t matter. Protect you and protect your kids and don’t talk to him. It’s the best way to really centre on what’s going to be good for you.

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      • Ok. But… have you made sure that letting him into your home doesn’t compromise things or count as ‘reconciliation’ and start any timelines over? I would really really consider carefully letting him cohabitate because it sounds like he’s just thinking about money and his happiness. Make him sign like a week to week lease for 1.00 saying you’re his landlord. Ahhh I’m so scared for you. He doesn’t want you. He wants his stuff. He wants to keep his whole pile of life.

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