For about the past  ten years whenever I travel I tend to freak out before I go. While I never used to be afraid; I am now scared of flying. My family expects this of me now and they laugh at my trepidation.  “That’s just crazy mom,” they say with a smile.

I originally told B I was not going to China with him because I had an overwhelming feeling of dread. So now, as I contemplate this trip I have decided I need to leave my daughters some thoughts that I think contribute to living a good life just in case I trip on a yak and fall to my death on Everest. I thought of all of these things off of the top of my head instead of consulting the internet so that is probably why the list is what it is.

For N and G… Love CLHD 12/18/15

Here goes:

1. Wear a bikini every chance you get when you are young and take a zillion pictures. You will never look this good again so you might as well document the heck out of it.
2. Any person who tells you that you can’t do something doesn’t know you immense capabilities. Don’t listen to the naysayers.
3. You never NEED a man. EVER. It’s okay to enjoy one though and be with one because he makes you happy and looks after your interests on the same level as his own.
4. Report serious wrongdoing or abuse of power.
5. You are a woman in a sea full of them. Stand out while supporting one another and for goodness sake don’t go poaching someone else’s man. You deserve more than sloppy seconds.
6. Don’t worry about what others think and do what is unexpected. Your life will be so much more fulfilling if you do.
7. Fulfill your dreams before having kids so you don’t resent them.
8. Backpack…somewhere…anywhere…at least once in your life.
9. Don’t be in a hurry. Get your degree then travel for awhile before doing your life’s work.
10. Listen to your intuition. Really listen and follow it. It will rarely let you down.
11. If some nut job forces his way into the car, steer into a building, another car, a light pole…anything. A car is replaceable but you are not.
12. The first time a man hits you leave and never look back. Oh and be sure to say F*** You on the way out.
13. You have an obligation to participate in the political system. Do so wisely and anyone who is a hater- work to defeat them.
14. Don’t shave your legs for a month.
15. Always walk to your car with your keys in your hands and your thumb over the alarm button. Look before you get in. If ANYONE makes you nervous go back to the store. NEVER be afraid to yell HELP or create a scene.
16. Do what makes you feel good at least once a day.
17. Chances are if you are a hater someday you will be the hated. Don’t hate.
18. Not everyone is going to like you. Deal with it.
19. There are times in your life where nothing will go as planned. It’s okay…you will come out the other side perhaps a little scathed but destined for something that is meant just for you.
20. Those things you think are really important are usually not as important as you think. Let them go.
21. Enjoy sex and have a lot of it. Enough said.
22. The only thing worrying creates is more worry.
23. Love is the greatest thing in the world and love is the worst thing in the world but do your best to love like its the only thing in the world.
24. Age 20…one piece of candy = more. Age 50…one piece of candy = 5 pounds, three new zippers and having to have your wedding ring re-sized.
25. You can love whomever you want as long as they aren’t already taken.
26. Always ask if you need help. There is no shame in it.
27. Corners are for mice.
28. Make a bucket list when you are young and then work to hard to cross everything off of it before you die.
29. You can revise your bucket list at any time.
30. Test drive the stick shift before you marry it. There is nothing worse than being married to a manual when you like to shift from high to low gear when you are going for a joy ride.
31. Don’t be a jerk. Don’t be a snob.Have compassion.
32. Offer a hand up whenever you can
33. Carry a McDonalds gift card in the glove compartment of your car to hand to a homeless person who is down and out…you may be there too someday. One never knows.
34. Give 100% to what you are doing and then when you are done… rest.
35. You are many things and many people rolled into one. Don’t just be the one that is the easiest. Be the one that makes your life feel complete.
36. Be respectful to the elderly.
37. Everyone has a story. Listen.
38. Don’t drink and drive.
39. Don’t make a promise unless you intend to keep it.
40. Plan for the future but don’t live in it. This also means you should have a small water and food supply readily accessible in order to survive something unexpected.
41. Remember your kids might see what you wrote on Facebook someday. Be nice.
42. Clarity bring rewards. Think before acting.
43. A good bra makes all the difference in the world but there are times to burn it too.
44. Anytime someone says they know you better than you know yourself…don’t believe them.
45. Be kind just because it is the right thing to do, just don’t be stupid about it.
46. Read
47. Say NO freely and with force when needed.
48. Save money for a rainy day. Cardboard boxes fall apart when wet.
49. Learning that you can’t always get what you want is helpful to figure out early on.
50. If you have to get high more than once a month you aren’t being your own best friend.
51. Never go to bed mad.
52. Tell your spouse everyday three things you appreciate about them and be sincere.
53. No eye rolling unless you are trying to get a part in a play.
54. Never let yourself get more than 10 pounds overweight without losing it because somehow it rapidly grows to twenty.
55. Forgive yourself. Often.
56. Only give a loan if you can be pleasantly surprised if you ever get the money back.
57. You should never have more “best friends” than the number of phone numbers you can remember in your head.
58. Make mistakes just don’t be a jackass about it and keep making the same stupid ones…especially as it concerns men.
59. Life is fluid. Try not to live in rigidity.
60. I used to believe you could never love a child too much and then I met some adults who had.
61. Don’t chew gum. It is totally non-biodegradable and will be around longer than we will.
62. There is a reason why they say patience is a virtue. Unfortunately, I never had enough. I hope you do.
63. Every time you have sex with a different man you give a little piece of your self away. Make sure you have enough of the good pieces left for yourself.
64. Orange juice is good. Vodka is better.OR-G is superb. Together they are amazing. Reminder see #38.
65. Love yourself first in a healthy non-narcissistic way…the rest will follow.
66. Winnie the Pooh and Piglet had a great relationship. Aim for that.
67. Your EVERYTHING MUST BE FAIR IN LIFE certificate was lost at birth. There is no way to order another one.
68. Ugly women wear layers while beautiful women wear smiles.
69. Compliment, compliment, compliment when you truly mean it.
70. Exercise your body and your mind.
71. It’s good to be smart so don’t let anyone make you feel bad for being so.
72. Don’t act dumb in front of boys.
73. Don’t have too much pride or stubbornness to apologize first.
74. Learn to just sit comfortably with yourself as a way towards self-discovery.
75. There is a difference between loving and spoiling.
76. Go to the doctor once a year and get your yearly GYN exam. Please.
77. Loyalty is rarely overrated.
78. Your children are not really YOURS…you just borrow them for awhile.
79. When you have no words just hold hands.
80. Perfection doesn’t exist. Stop searching for it.
81. I have spent too much of my life being negative. It doesn’t do anyone any good. Please don’t do that to yourself and others.
82. Laugh hard and loud. A good snort in public is good for the soul.
83. Your husband will make mistakes. You will make mistakes. It isn’t necessarily the end of your marriage even though it feels that way.
84. Don’t be too hard on yourself. I already did that for you and your allotment is all used up.
85. Sometimes you just have to work harder whether you want to or not.
86. You are beautiful just the way you are. Believe it.
87. If you hate your body in some way you just end up hating yourself. Stop it.
88. Acceptance is a wonderful thing in most aspects of life. Try to partake of it often.
89. If you see that your love for someone is like constantly riding a rollercoaster it is time to apply the emergency brake and get off the ride.
90. Drama is for the stage only. Don’t create it and don’t accept it into your life.
91. Never give up unless you are doing something stupid.
92. Most things (except becoming pregnant) will not matter six months from now.
93. Know I loved you.Deeply. Happily and sometimes in a flawed way.As you know I was far from perfect. I made lots of mistakes. Sometimes I did things out of fear rather than love. Don’t do that.Take the good of me with you, discard the bad and don’t take too much of me with you on your own journey. You are who you are and are under no obligation to be anything like me. Find your own path…mine was just for you to walk alongside me for a while but your own path awaits. Make your steps count but skip along that path too. Skipping clears the head and makes you feel alive again. You have but one life on this earth. Make it amazing for you, your family and for humankind. That’s all you can do. I love you…always have…always will.
94. And please remember everything on this blog is copyrighted 2015.