Feeling your body under mine
As we ride to far away places
In that custom saddle we created so long ago
I am reminded that the first part of our odyssey
Made me feel warm, safe, and secure
Believing that passion and love would serve us well
For many years to come
Yet, as the journey continued through our ages
To different and strange unexplored lands
I found that as we rode together we
Struggled to stay insync to the pounding rhythm of life and each other
In this saddle we created and shined to perfection together
Oh so many years ago
Then slowly our bodies began to move to different beats
The spark no longer igniting when flesh richcheted against flesh
Our timing aberrant from what had come before
Akwardly and in silence we rode through valleys so deep and low
They threatened to pull us under
As we wrapped ourselves each in our own protective gear
Bracing ourselves and sitting deep in the saddle spooning
No longer astride one another
During this long exhausting ride
The passion for this particular pilgrimage waning
The heat that once kept us warm
Cooling to small embers and threatening
To extinguish themselves all together
As the light faded and disappeared behind the mountains before us
No longer straddling one atop the another on this migration
But one of us down… crawling on the ground
Pulling the stead and partner along
By some silent force of nature
That was unwilling to give up or give in
But yet we pressed on
Scraping raw our knees
Scooping out our souls
Our sexual natures vanished somewhere within Mother Nature herself
We traveled wearily like this for so long
Lost, together… yet alone
Until in desperation we finally reached out for the reins to steady and guide us
The accidental brushing together of two souls
Once again serving to remind us of all we have endured
And all we have yet to discover
So now we join hands to do battle
Against all that has kept us apart from one another
And we fight Mother Nature to reclaim our sexuality
The passion igniting our bodies and sweeping us together
And once again we quiver deep within one another
Grinding deep within that saddle
As we climb to the pinnacle of our lives
Looking over the ridge to the future that awaits us
Hanging on for dear life together once again
Our devotion rekindled each for the other
In that saddle that was custom made the two of us
In which we fit together so well
No longer afraid
But curious about where we will end up
On this sojourn through married life
Gardy Loo Pismire 
I am so curious about your husband. I feel like I am getting to know you, albeit in cyberspace, and have (I think) a good sense of your questioning, intense, open, honest, searching nature. I don’t yet have a sense of who he is, other than – GODDAMMIT, he is lucky to have you.
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Sometimes I don’t know who is he because I am not sure he knows who he is but this I do know.. he is a wonderful and kind father, a Boy Scout leader, able to lead people and those who work with/for him in a kind and gentle way so that they want to do better, he works hard but is able to balance work with family life in a healthy way, a fantastic lover because I trained him well and I expect his next wife should be putting flowers on my grave weekly in thanks, that he finds it hard to express his feelings and he uses humor to deflect them, that he saved his brothers life and he probably saved mine, that he thinks logically rather than allowing emotions to lead him intuitively and spontaneously. That at this point in his life he is seeking peace, is worried about retirement in another 10 years and his sexuality to buzzing as he realizes he is aging into a possibly uncomfortable place, he is a rock recently loosened by his own personal earthquakes and he is confused. He is tired of people relying on him but couldn’t stand that they would not. He finds contentment much easier than I. He is spiritual attending church and still feels unassigned guilt from his early experiences in the Catholic church. He is a good friend and works in service organizations. He is the kind of guy you want your daughter to marry and the kind of man you want holding your hand when you die. B also cares deeply about his family and his grandchildren. He is a man going through a mid-life crisis who wants to do right but is not sure what that is in regards to his future. He is sexy, easy to look at and a man that most women would love to be married to. He is a man who needs to be honest with himself but doesn’t know how to live with what he might find out. He tries very hard to do what is right. And like most of us he is a bundle of contradictions.
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